Who Am I Living For
by Lina Marie
Summary: "It's never easy to be chosen, never easy to be called. Standing on the frontline when the bombs start to fall. I can see the heavens but I still hear the flames, calling out my name. I can see the writing on the wall, I can't ignore this war. At the eh-end of it all, who am I living for?" (OC/Logan)
1. Chapter 1

(OC POV)

I growled as the dark phoenix screeched at me, my lips pulling back as I snarled dangerously, the mutants clearing the area while Magneto watched. A scent brushed across my nose, my feral gifts perking up at the smell of a male feral, the forest still for half a second. Then a force flung me into a tree, my ribs breaking with an audible crack, a hiss leaving my throat as I stood slowly. The dark phoenix watched me closely, a murderous look in her eyes, sadness flickering before it disappeared.

_Hmm, the host is fighting it, very interesting _I inwardly thought as I rolled away from the shockwave, the tree I was leaning against slamming into the ground, my sharp eyes watching the dark one closely. She screeched at me again, then listened as Magneto whispered in her ear, her eyes narrowing furiously before she turned on her heel and disappeared into the forest.

"If youll excuse us, we have an agenda to prepare for, good day." he said quietly, disppearing as well with the dark one, my senses trained to the environment around me as i stilled completely. When all the noise came back, I breathed out then hissed in pain, collapsing on my hands and knees. Breathing slowly, I laid on my back as my healing started, making me sleepy as I struggle to focus on the trees. Something brushed against a leaf, a calming scent reaching my nose as the darkness took me under, someone kneeling by me as I blacked out.

(Third Person POV)

Logan frowned as he watched the battle, a lithe woman growling at Jean dangerously, her white hair blowing in the wind as her ice blue eyes narrowed as she snarled. She suddenly sniffed the air, Logan stepping closer unconciously, then wincing as she was flung against a tree by Jean. She collided with a resounding crack, the Wolverine waking up as Logan pushed him back, the animals angry snarls thrown at him in his head. The woman hissed as she slowly stood, a small frown appearing on her delicate features, then she suddenly rolled away swiftly. The tree was leaning against suddenly slammed into the ground, Logans eyes flickering to Jean before the Wolverine pushed them back towards the woman, her sharp eyes watching Jean closely. Jean screeched again, then paused as Magneto whispered in her ear, his eyes on me as she spun on on her heel furiously and disappeared.

"If youll excuse us, we have an agenda to prepare for, good day." he said to the female then disappeared, Logans eyes flicking back to her quickly, stilling as soon as she did. After a moment the sounds of the forest returned, the toned woman collapsing on the ground as she hissed, pain flashing in her eyes momentarily before she controlled her features. Logan tilted his head and frowned in curiousity, silently moving closer as he watched her, her breathing controlled as she lay on her back. The Wolverine focused on her chest, his leg accidentaly brushing against a leaf as he came to her side, kneeling by her as she passed out quickly. Logan quickly took control of his body again, huffing as he carefully picked her up, jerking in surprise when she buried her face in his neck and breathed deeply. Shaking his head, he shifted his hold then ran through the forest, the Wolverine recognizing her as a female feral. Logan growled quietly and once again took control, coming upon his truck and gently settling her in the passenger seat, then grumbling to himself as he got in drivers seat.

"Hope the guys dont mind a visitor, not that I care." his deep baritone grumbled aloud, the southern accent unknowingly soothing the woman next to him, her head suddenly dropping into his lap as he jerked again. Cussing under his breath, he watched as she snuggled closer unconciously, a sigh leaving his mouth before he started driving to the mansion.

(Time Lapse: 12 Hours)

Charles and Logan watched as the woman turned over, hissing in pain before settling on her back and falling back to sleep, the drugs taking her under swiftly as the men watched.

"Can you read her Charles?" Logan drawled, a frown on his face as he watched the woman closely, the Wolverine constantly telling him that shes his mate.

"No, and that fact alone worries me." Charles said with a frown as well, sighing as he rubbed his temples and looked away from the woman, watching as Logan grumbled before sitting by the door silently.

A.N: this started during the forest scene in x3, I changed the plot to fit my story, please review :)


	2. Chapter 2

(OC POV)

I groaned as my senses came back, my torso throbbing as smells assaulted my nose, scowling as it made my head pound. A particular smell hit my nose, the calming one I smelt before I blacked out, my eyes flashing open at the realization. I slowly looked around the room I was in, taking in all the medical instruments and supplies, this one obviously being a mini hospital. My icy eyes caught the man sitting by the door, either security or a babysitter, I couldnt figure it out quite yet. I sniffed the air cautiously, my eyes widening as I realized that man was the calming scent I smelled, consisting of leather and nature and spices. Focusing on him closely now, I took in every detail I could see, smiling as I realized he was an attractive male feral. He was about 6'5 to my 5'4, spiked black hair and neat muttonchops and beard, his tan skin highlighting his sculpted features. His body was muscular, every part of him rippling with bulky muscles, his clothes almost too tight for him. He looked like a mix between a lumberjack and a cowboy, his body massive and his presence dominating, even when he was sleeping slouched in a chair. I frowned as I tore my eyes from him, my feral side itching to jump into his pants, my eyes running down my body. An IV was in me and a heart moniter was clipped onto my thumb, serveral little pads covering my chest and around my hairline, their wires leading to a different machine. Scowling unconciously as I sat up slowly, I first took out my IV carefully, then took off my heart monitor without thinking. Suddenly a shrill beeping sounded, my body jumping as my eyes flew to the machine in surprise, the awful sound emenating from it as I growled in annoyance. Suddenly the man was by my side, shutting off the machine with a deep breath, his sharp eyes glancing to me before he shook his head. My ears rung from the sound, my sensitive hearing being one of my only weaknesses, but also one of my greatest strengths. Out of the corner of my eye I watching the man, his eyes looking up and down my body languidly, letting it happen three times before I finally made eye contact. Raising an eyebrow I suddenly felt playful, my dainty hand taking the pads off my face slowly, then brushing across the ones on my chest. The mans eyebrow rose almost imperceptibly, his eyes following my hand as it slowly took the pads off my chest, rubbing the little suction spots gently. Smirking triumphently I swung my legs over the side of the bed, realizing I was in an unattractive hospital gown, scowling as I slowly stood on my feet cautiously. His strong hands twitched, as if holding himself back from helping me, which was wise cause I was independent and very annoyed at the moment. I spotted my clothes in a cabinet across the room, making my way to them gracefully, the man watching me where he stayed by the bed. I dropped the gown to the floor, a small gasp heard from behind me as the gown dropped to the floor, a smirk settling on my face as I got my clothes completely nude. The feral behind me stumbled back as I bent over to slip into my dark skinny jeans, the smirk widening as I slid them over my hips and buttoned them, the zipper breaking the silence. I wrapped the black corset around my torso, tightening the laces in the front after I zipped it in the back, my torso now completely healed as it stopped throbbing. Grabbing the thigh high patent leather boots, I slipped them on slowly, zipping it up slowly as I smelled the ferals arousal grow. Shaking out my hair I turned around, winking at him then strutting out of the room, a disbelieving huff heard from behind me.

_Men, so easily distracted _I whispered to myself, finding the elevator and managing to get it to go up.

(Time Lapse: 1 hr)

_How the hell do I get lost in a school _I grumbled to myself, ignoring all the wide eyed looks I got from the girls, then boys eyeing me lustfully. I turned a corner and ran into a girl with a white streak in her red hair, rubbing my forehead as she did the same, eyeing me curiously as she tilted her head.

"You new here?" she said quietly, her southern accent strong as she eyed me, my fingers running through my hair to readjust it.

"You could say that, do you know where the front door would be?" I said quietly, my normally seductive voice making the girls eyes widen before she nodded, turning around and gesturing for me to follow her.

"You leaving already?" she said curiously, glancing at me before she looked ahead again, my eyes taking in everything for future information.

"Yeah, I dont like staying in one place." I said absently, glancing into what looked like a cafeteria where a lot of kids were eating, obviously being lunch time here.

"Sounds like someone else I know." she whispered before leading me to ornate double doors, opening them for me as I walked out, glancing at the huge yard with a calculating gaze.

"Thanks for your help Miss...?" I trailed off, raising an eyebrow as I faced her, realization coming into her eyes as she held out her hand when she came up to my side.

"Marie, but everybody calls me Rogue." she said with a smile, shaking my hand firmly before dropping it, pushing her streak behind her ear.

"Good to know. Ill see you around Miss Marie." I said with a nod, descending the steps quickly so I could get away before the feral tracked my scent to here, my expression emotionless as I walked down the driveway. Apparently Lady Luck wasnt on my side. As soon as the gate was within view, a scent hit my nose too late, a body tackling me before I could react. I snarled and curled my legs under the attacker, throwing him off and into a tree across the way, flipping onto my feet as I got into a defense position. My attacker was the male feral, shaking his head as he stood up, stalking towards me angrily. Growling under my breath, I calculated the pros and cons of fighting with him without using my special powers, figuring I had a 50/50 chance of being the victor. Shaking my head imperceptibly, I decided I wouldnt take the chances, turning on my heel and disappearing into the mini forest by the gate quickly. He grunted and followed, my ears picking up his almost silent pursuit, my inner feral growling at the challenge. I controlled my instincts and smiled as the wall came into view, launching myself over the wall and flipping onto my feet, shooting one glance behind me before taking off down the road and disappearing into the forest quickly.

(Time Lapse: 3 Days)

I made sure the feral lost my trail then headed into the nearest city, heading into the first bar and grill I came upon quickly, heading straight to the bar and ordering a vodka on the rocks. The bartender was a flirtatious man, his tan skin contrasting with his white outfit to outline his toned form. He had long brown hair, his brown eyes turning red in certain light, his chisled features clean shaven.

"Well arent you a sight for sore eyes." he saod quietly, his orleans accent clear as he smirked, winking at me as he got closer.

"You're not gonna have any kind of eyes if you dont watch where you put them." I said quietly, raising an eyebrow as his eyes focused on mine obediently, swirling my glass as he smiled arrogantly.

"The name is LeBeau, Remy LeBeau, at your service chere." he said quietly, smiling flirtatiously before moving on to other customers, coming back once he served them.

"Is this your bar and grill?" I said quietly, watching as he raised his eyebrows in surprise, his eyes narrowed slightly in suspicion.

"Why yes it is, why do you ask chere?" he said cautiously, following my finger as I pointed to a plaque on the wall, the owner picture in plain sight with his face on it.

"Very cheesy." I replied quietly, smirking as he huffed and walked away, rolling my eyes as he complained under his breath.

"You're quite the slippery one arent you." Sabertooth whispered in my ear, my appearance unchanging as I controlled my surprise, turning around with my drink in hand to face him.

"So ive been told." I said calmly, raising an eyebrow when he growled subtly, leaning closer to try and intimidate me. I rolled my eye and turned back around, leaning on the bar as I caught Remys eye, flickering my eyes behind me for a second and watching as he nodded slightly.

"Dont turn your back on me pup!" Sabertooth said angrily, grabbing my glass and throwing it to the ground, forcefully turning me around to face him.

"You better watch yourself Toothy, I kicked your ass once and ill be happy to do it again." I said, letting my eyes flash white to reintroduce him to my hidden power, his eyes widening a fraction in remembrance before he controlled his expressions.

"This time, im gonna gu..." he started before he got interrupted, us both turning to see the other feral.

"Let the woman go Sabertooth." he growled angrily, his eyes focused on me for a second before they turned back to Sabertooth, his calming scent brushing my senses again.


	3. Chapter 3

(OC POV)

"God damnit chere, did you have to bring your fight here? My restaurant is getting destroyed!" Remy yelled at me from behind the counter where we were hiding, the sounds of the two ferals going at it frightening as the bar cleared quickly.

"You think I did this on purpose? Why the hell would I bring two ferals together in public around me damnit!" I yelled back, glancing above the counter to catch the male throw Savertooth towards us, throwing my body into Remys as I pushed us out of the way, Sabertooth slamming into all the liquor and dropping where we were. Sabertooth looked at us, growling menancingly causing me to snarl back, Remy grabbing my hand and yanking me to my feet with him. The male pounced on Sabertooth, Remy pulling me away as we ran out the front door, tearing down the street quickly as we disappeared in a mall. Coming upon a restaurant called Rainforest Cafe, we slipped inside and grabbed a booth, Remy panting and dropping his head on the table as I looked around.

"Damn chere, Logans gonna be furious with me." Remy whispered, leaning his head back against the booth, the perking it up when a skimpy blonde waitress came to our table.

"Hello, can I take your order?" she said quietly, eyeing Remy before writting down our orders and disppearing, Remy eyes following her till I cleared my throat.

"Whos Logan?" I said quietly, turning to face him as he raised an eyebrow in disbelief, turning towards me as well.

"The guy that attacked your best friend back there. You honestly dont know who he is? I wouldve thought you did, you obviously know his 'arch-enemy', Sabertooth." he said quietly, his accent thick in surprise, his eyes flickering to the waitress as she set our drinks down.

"Ill be back to take your orders in a few minutes." she said as she disppeared again, Remys eyes turning back to me once she did, my eyebrow raised with a smirk on my face.

"You dont stand a chance. So his name is Logan? He took me to this school and has been chasing me down since I escaped." I said quietly, glancing around habitually, flicking my eyes back to Remy once I deemed it safe still.

"Xaviers school?" he said quietly, ignoring my jab at his chances as he focused on me, his head tilted in curiousity.

"No clue, all I know is it was full of mutants of all ages." I whispered quietly, focusing on him as well momentarily, then glancing around again.

"Yeah, thats Xaviers school. How did he get you there if you obviously dont wanna be there chere?" he whispered back, scooting closer as I raised an eyebrow, shaking my finger at him with a smirk.

"I was badly injured in a fight, he was obivously around the area and once I passed out brought me to that school." I recapped shortly, glancing around again then narrowing my eyes when Logan passed the entrance, quickly switching mine and Remys positions. I pulled up his hood to hide me, then locked my lips on his forcefully, clutching his shirt and bringing him closer. He stiffened in surprise, then laid his hands on my hips and leaned closer, tilting his head to kiss me rougher. Glancing at a mirror in the corner, I watched as Logan glanced into the restaurant, then kept walking after he couldnt find us. Remys tongue sweeped across my bottom lip, his hands grabbing my ass discretely, causing me to narrow my eyes and pull away. I grabbed my water, dumping it on him immediately, smirking in satisfaction when he sputtered.

"Hes all yours waitress." I said as she came up, using my powers to make her want him, then strutting out of the restuarant quickly. Glancing around, I quickly left the mall and headed into the parking lot, spotting a silver Audi R8 and heading to it. Slipping out one of my three claws, I unlocked the door quickly and got in, slipping my claw back in and pressing the start button. I smiled happily when the engine purred, backing out and squealing out of the lot, speeding down the street quickly.

"I love being me." I said with a smirk, switching gears and flying onto the freeway, flicking on the radio and nodding when AC/DC came on.

(Time Lapse: 1 Week)

I huffed as Remy glared at me from the foot of the bed, watching me as I laid back in the chair, crossing my legs as I raised an eyebrow.

"You left me to fend for myself after dragging me into your fight. Granted, the blonde laid me like a pornstar, but you cant do that to me chere." Remy said, laying his head in his hands as he sighed, looking at the ground as he ran his hand through his hair.

"You didn't have to fuck up the car though, it was such a beautiful piece of machinery that you destroyed." I said haughtily, watching as he smiled and shook his head, resting his chin on his hands as he focused on me.

"That was the only way to get you to stop. If you havent forgotten, once you saw me you took off like the hounds of hell were after you chere." he whispered, smirking when I narrowed my eyes, turning away from him childishly.

"You grabbed my ass without my permission, that action gave me privileges." I sniffed, crossing my arms as I scolwed at him, irritation flashing through my eyes.

"I thought it would be ok after you assaulted my mouth out of nowhere." he countered, smirking when I opened my mouth, then closed it when I had nothing to say to that.

"Shutup." I grumbled as I looked away, sticking my tongue out at him as he laughed, sucking it back in when he snapped his teeth with a wink. Suddenly the door slammed open, Logan standing in the doorway furiously, his body trembling with rage as he stepped inside.

"Shit." I whispered, his eyes flicking to me, the diving for me when I scrambled out of my chair.

"Get your ass over here woman!" he yelled, Remy watching with wide eyes as he chased me around the hotal room, grumbling obscenities every time I slipped away.

"Never man!" I yelled back playfully, gasping when Remy stuck his foot out to trip me, shrugging when I looked up at him in surprise.

"This is on my tab, no destroying." he said with an arrogant smirk, making me glare at him before my breath got knocked out, Logan holding me to the ground.

"Gotcha." he whispered, flipping me to my back as he straddled me, Remy watching him warily as he glanced at me.

"You can never really capture a feral, you should know better then anyone, seeing as you're one yourself." I said with a smirk, blowing my hair out of my face, Logan leaning closer as he sniffed the air conspicuously. Raising an eyebrow, I said nothing about his behavior, instead opting to relax into the floor. He focused on me warily, raising his own eyebrow at my actions, glancing at Remy before he focused on me again.

"Youll come back to the school with me without a fight?" he said quietly, his deep timbre going straight through my body, making me hold back a shiver as I caught his gaze.

"For now...as long as Remy comes." I said with a smirk, watching as Remy jumped up and cussed, glaring at me.

"No!"

Done." Logan and Remy said at the same time, smirking as well as he pulled me to my feet with him, standing at the doorway as he impatiently waited.

"Chere!" Remy said, grabbing my arms with a pleading look, his face turning pale as he glanced at Logan.

"Lets go drama queen." I said with a smirk, grabbing his ear and tugging him out the door, blocking out his protests as Logan followed. He led us to a black suburban, me throwing Remy in the back before getting in the passenger seat, Logan starting it up and pulling onto the street.

"I hate you chere." Remy muttered, glaring out the window dejectedly, a smirk coming to my lips as I watched him pout.

"We both know you're in love with me, drama queen." I muttered back, smiling at the glare he directed my way, us both turning to watch the scenery.

"Kids." Logan said in exasperation, us both staring at him in surprise, then looking at each other.

"Am not!" we said at the same, shouting at each other as Logan rolled his eyes, speeding up quickly.


	4. Chapter 4

I groaned as I hit the floor after blowing through three cement walls. As I sat up my back throbbed in agony, a wince flashing across my face. My attacker jumped through the hole, tilting his head as he stepped closer.

"One more step and your 6 feet under." I muttered as my eyes flashed white, the man struggling as he was risen. He clawed at his throat but nothing was there, the invisible power throwing him through the walls. Shaking my head I stood carefully, my head snapping up when I felt it start. Rolling my shoulders I walked out of the building, hissing when a shockwave hit me roughly. My eyes flickered up to see Logan trying to get to Phoenix, the shockwaves ripped off his skin one layer at a time. I stepped closer as my eyes started glowing again, the fires dying down and the water lowering. Dark Phoenix glanced at me with furious black eyes, her power struggling against my own.

"Jean!" Logan yelled in agony as he made his way to her, my eyes flicking to him as I blocked the shockwaves from him. I ignored the way my heart clenched in jealousy, the Dark One trying to kill him through my powers. Sending my own shockwave to her, I screamed as a small pole was impaled through my torso. Logan's claws sunk into the Dark One's torso, everything stopping as her life force slipped away. My knees buckled as I collapsed to the ground, Logan's sob echoing through the silence.

"Serenity!" Beast yelled as he ran up to me, sinking to his knees as he got to my side. His eyes were wide as he saw the pole, his hands hovering over my form uncertainly. I shook my head as I closed my eyes, my hands grabbing a fistful of dirt.

"Get it out of me damnit!" I growled at him as I gripped the pole gingerly, my jaw clenched as I bite back a cry.

"I can't Serenity, you could bleed out!" he stuttered out in fear as he stilled, his eyes flicking between my eyes and the pole. I rolled my eyes and gripped the pole tighter, taking deep breaths as I closed my eyes. Then I yanked it out. And screamed in agony.

Time Lapse: 3 Days

"If you worry over me again I will castrate you Hank." I muttered dryly as I turned my head to glare at him, his sheepish smile making me bite back my own.

"Sorry, I just care about your health. You're my friend. I mean, you are right?" he said as he tilted his head with a frown, smirking as I laughed and shook my head.

"Well, I don't really know Hank. You aren't telling me if you're still fighting with Kurt over Aurora!" I said with a sly smirk as he narrowed his eyes, opening his mouth then closing it and leaving the room.

"I love you too fuzz bear!" I yelled out with a laugh as he yelled in aggravation, my hand covering my mouth as I snickered. Turning back to the counter I started making my wrap, putting the stuff away once I finished. Leaving the room I made my way to the library, humming a lullaby under my breath. As Colossus passed by I grabbed the sealed soda from his hand, grinning as he cried out in surprise.

"Thanks best friend!" I said with a grin as he shook his head and walked away, my free hand cracking the soda open easily. It nearly went down my throat though when I ran into a broad chest.

"God damn it all to hell!" I gasped out as the soda spilled all over me, my eyes angry as they looked up to the perpetrator. They widened as I saw Logan raise his eyebrow, his arms crossing over his chest as he eyes my soaked form.

"You've been avoiding me woman." He said in his deep timbre as he crossed his arms over his chest, my eyes narrowing as I huffed.

"You don't even say sorry. You're an ass Logan." I muttered as I stepped around him, screeching to a stop when he grabbed my arm.

"Sorry. Now why have you been avoiding me?" he said, his tone completely unapologetic as he turned me around. Sighing in resignation I stuffed the wrap in his mouth, grabbing his hand and yanking him into the library with me. His eyes narrowed as he slowly ate the wrap, dropping onto the couch as I glared at him.

"Shouldn't you be gone by now?" I said with narrowed eyes as he glanced at me in surprise. He sat up with a frown as he eyed me with disbelief.

"Why the hell would I be gone?" he said gruffly as he leaned back slowly, watching me as I paced in front of him.

"A very reliable source told me that you always take off when something bad happens. Jean dying in your arms would qualify." I said coldly as I glared at him, his eyes widening in surprise and hurt. He shook his head and stood in a flash, he eyes snapping with anger as he growled.

"You don't know anything woman." He growled out from between clenched teeth, his hands curling into fists as I stopped pacing.

"I know enough to know that it broke your heart Logan. So why don't you go like you always do?" I said coldly as I became calm, my fury sizzling beneath the surface. His anger snapped as he stomped up to me, grabbing my arm in a rough grip.

"You aint no different woman! You're running from your past because you can't handle it right? You can't handle that you lost control of your power and killed your family! How does it feel to know you were the last thing your mother and baby brother and father saw before you killed them? Or the fact that Strikers soldiers raped you all night while his scientists experimented on you all day? Does it feel good woman?" Logan yelled in my face as his hand tightened painfully, tears coming to my eyes as I gasped.

"Let go of me you bastard! I know I shouldn't have told you my shit! Let go!" I screamed, slapping him harshly by instinct. His head snapped to the side and he let go, his expression stunned more then it should've been. I didn't dwell on it though as I took off out of the room, wiping my tears as I ran to my room and started packing.

"Damnit, I should've known better then to stay around here. I became weak, a little bitch." I muttered to myself as I zipped up my suitcase, throwing it out the window before getting ready to jump out myself.

"Where are you going?" a strong southern accent said from behind me, my body turning in a flash to the intruder. Rogue stood at the doorframe, her head tilted in confusion. She eyed the open window, walking into the room and shutting the door. I sighed and bowed my head, leaning against the wall as she sat on the bed.

"I need to go Rogue, I can't stay here any longer baby girl." I said as I rubbed a hand over my eyes gently, covering my mouth with it as I looked at her. She frowned as studied my face carefully, sighing herself as she stood slowly.

"Was it your fight with Logan?" she said quietly, my eyes widening as I realized she probably heard it. I cursed under my breath and stepped closer to her, grabbing her shoulders as I smiled softly.

"I just need to go. Take care of the team for me baby girl; they're going to need it." I muttered as I kissed her forehead, giving her a last gift through my powers. _Now she can control her powers since they aint going away _I muttered dryly in my head as I pulled away. She sniffled but nodded, hugging me tightly before pulling away.

"Be safe Ser, I'll miss you." She whispered as she hugged herself, waving with a sad smile as I stuck a leg out the window.

"Always Miss Marie." I said with a wink before jumping out of the window, grabbing my bag and disappearing into the surrounding forest. I ran nonstop, pushing back my feelings as I let the cold indifference of my beast take control. As I came upon a river I slowed down, tilting my head as I came back to myself. Taking a deep breath I realized we were far from civilization, a sigh leaving my mouth as I sat on the banks.

"Never again Serenity, never again." I whispered to myself as I recalled how close I was to losing control because of Logan. Standing up again I kicked a rock into the river, gingerly jumping onto a log and floating downriver.


End file.
